Entry tags:
College Correspondence for
adamparrish
[ Adam has a phone now. He's also got a laptop and Ronan doesn't give a flying fuck if it bothers Adam that Ronan paid for both of them. His boyfriend is far too fucking far from Henrietta for Ronan to rely only on snail mail as a means of communication. Yes, this means Ronan will answer the phone when Adam calls or texts. He also answers and sends email. Today, Adam has an email from Ronan. ]
To: adam.parrish@gmail.com
From:greywaren@gmail.com
Evening, Asshole. Or morning. Whatever. It's late. Can't sleep. Opal has a whole damn list of books for me to pick up at the library for her. She's pissed 'cause none of them are in Latin. I told her that's because authors are fucking idiots. We're camping out in one of the fields tonight. I attached some pictures and a video I took earlier. I told her ghost stories and tried teaching her to play the bagpipes. She made the fucking cows run for cover.
So let me know how shit's going with you.
attachment one
attachment two
attachment three is a video of Ronan singing the murder squash song while Opal murders his bagpipes
To: adam.parrish@gmail.com
From:greywaren@gmail.com
Evening, Asshole. Or morning. Whatever. It's late. Can't sleep. Opal has a whole damn list of books for me to pick up at the library for her. She's pissed 'cause none of them are in Latin. I told her that's because authors are fucking idiots. We're camping out in one of the fields tonight. I attached some pictures and a video I took earlier. I told her ghost stories and tried teaching her to play the bagpipes. She made the fucking cows run for cover.
So let me know how shit's going with you.
attachment one
attachment two
attachment three is a video of Ronan singing the murder squash song while Opal murders his bagpipes
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To: greywaren@gmail.com
From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
The only reason I'm replying to you after getting attachment three is because Opal is pretty cute. She's your saving grace, Lynch. Otherwise, radio silence. I sent Opal a list of books I thought she might like. Maybe you can read them too and dream her Latin versions of the books. Ut legitur ad somnia.
Right now I'm studying Psych 101, which should help me learn to unravel my boyfriend's brain. Maybe I'll understand why you like that song so much someday. Maybe I'll be able to explain it to you. I bought some reading glasses so maybe my eyes will stop going cross-eyed when reading late at night. Sometimes I think the tree outside of my dorm is talking to me. Or maybe I'm going insane. Anyway, I took a picture of it for you.
I'm saving that picture of Opal.
attachment one
attachment two
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To:adam.parrish@gmail.com
From: greywaren@gmail.com
Bullshit. You love that song. Opal is cute as hell though. I'll give you that. You want me to text, email, answer phone calls and read. I don't know, Parrish. You're expecting a lot. I'll see what I can do. Just let me know if you feel it. I don't want you spending all your time fixing ley lines when you're here. Anything else you want me to dream while I'm at it?
Good luck with that, Parrish. I like that song because it's fucking awesome. Damn. Now I'm going to be thinking about that half the night. Damn good thing Opal is asleep. I"m gonna need pictures of you in those glasses. Feel free to get naked in them if you want. Yes, I will be using them for whacking off. As far as trees go, that one is pretty good. It looks like a Cabeswater tree. Maybe I'll dream you one of those here so we can listen to the same damn tree talk.
She'll like that.
attachment one [Yes, the squash song is playing over the picture]
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To: greywaren@gmail.com
From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
I'm such a needy boyfriend. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. As if the more I type it the easier it'll be to believe. I don't know, sometimes I think maybe with the distance someone else might come along and snatch you away. I don't know if you know this, but you're very snatchable, Ronan.
I want that tree on the Barns. Then if someone snatches you away that tree will bitch at you about leaving me. It'll nag you for all of eternity.
That picture of you almost makes me like the squash song. Almost. I just saved it to my phone so I can look at it later. I'm not as photogenic as you but here you go. Click on the thing. Annoying song not included.
attachment one
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To: adam.parrish@gmail.com
From: greywaren@gmail.com
You can make it up to me next time I'm down there or you're up here. Believe it, Parrish. I'm not letting you go anytime soon. It only took me a year and a half to get you to kiss me. I don't put that sort of effort in for anybody. Trust me. No one else wants me and even if they did, I'm happy where I'm at. Do you really think anyone is going to take me anywhere I don't want to go? I'm not. I'm an asshole. I've just got you fooled. Let's keep it that way.
I'll send you a picture once I think I've got it right. I'll put it in the backyard by our bedroom window.
I'll have to work harder. Don't blame me if you get a dick pic next. You asked for it. You damn well better look at it later. Feel free to whack off to it too. You're a damn sight more photogenic than me, Parrish. Always have been.
Yeah, just guess what this attachment is. Go ahead. Guess.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
Maybe I just like assholes. Besides, I know the secret parts where Ronan Lynch isn't all the asshole he makes himself out to be. You can't fool me. If anyone tried to take you somewhere you didn't want to go, I'd just sick Chainsaw on them.
I wouldn't normally ask, but I really like that tree. It's a conversational tree. Maybe it'll read you poetry.
Ronan. Did you really? You really just sent me a dick pic. Wow. I'm... distracted. You know I have a Psych 101 test I have to study for, right? Cause... now studying is hard... or difficult, not hard.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
That's an explanation. Long as you don't tell anyone and ruin my reputation. She's pretty damn vicious for a bird. You could also try siccing the night terror on them.
I don't mind, Parrish. I just want to make sure it's not pulling too hard on you.
You're welcome. So take a break from studying. Let yourself be completely distracted. I"ll do the same then you can get back to me. Did I ever tell you I wish you were closer so we could do this shit in person?
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
You just prefer the night terror because it's more violent than Chainsaw would be. Chainsaw would just freak them out. The Terror would cause serious damage. Which... okay, cool. I'm game.
I'll let you know if it's too much. Besides, I'll be there in another month. I can do some work while I'm there.
Are you really telling me to do that? Or am I misreading things because of the dick pic?
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Nah, I just figure if someone is big enough to take me, we're going to need that damage.
Opal and I have a calendar we're crossing the days off on. She does it every night before she goes to bed. I'll make sure there's a place set up for you.
You're not misreading anything. Have fun and let me know how it goes.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
No one is going to take you. You're too good at scaring them all away, or most of them anyway. You can be intimidating, you know.
It's like we're a family or something. Is my place wherever you are? I mean, yeah I want my own. But maybe I wanna be where you are when you don't piss me off.
I am not doing that while we're in an email conversation. And I'm not letting you know how it goes.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Of course they're not. Yeah. I've heard that a time or two.
We kind of are, a family, I mean. It is if you want it to be. I'll clear you out a room. It can be your 'I'm pissed off at Ronan' room. I don't go in it.
Why not? I'm going to and you're not going to type and do that at the same time. You're going to do that, then type during which, you will let me know how it goes.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
You intimidated me when I first met you. It's not a bad thing. Plus, I think you do it on purpose most of the time.
I like that idea. I like all of it. Opal can make a sign for the Adam is pissed off at Ronan room. Give her some crayons.
You're kind of ridiculous. If we go do it at the same time is it like we're doing it together? Is that how that works?
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
I wasn't trying to intimidate you. Glad you don't think it's a bad thing.
I'll get her on it. It'll probably have flowers or some shit. Most of her stuff seems to.
Nah, I'm just the right amount of ridiculous. That's the idea, Parrish.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
To be fair, I'd never had friends before you. Not really. My nerves were on high alert.
I'm okay with flowers. Trees. Grass. Anything.
Okay. Okay then, let's do it. Email me when you're done.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Fuck. I think I'm numb all the way to my toes. That's a good thing. I don't think I've cum that hard since the last time you and I were actually together.
I think the grass is talking to me, Adam. How're you feeling?
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
Did you think of me? Is that a weird thing to ask? Cause I thought of you. I don't know, I've never done anything like that with someone.
God, I'm lame.
Lame. I'm lame. I mean it was good. Really good. But I'm lame.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Fuck yes I thought of you. In those glasses, naked and jerking off as you thought of me. It was pretty damn amazing.
Shut up. You're not lame. You need to do that at least once a day, think about me and chill out. It's supposed to make you feel good, make you relax.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
Do you ever think about us doing that together in the same room?
Once a day, huh? You know I have a roommate. I mean, he's hardly ever here but he could walk in at any second.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Well, I sure as hell am now. I know what's happening next time you're up here.
Once a day. Hang a sock on the door knob. It's the universal 'don't walk in because of nakedness' sign.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
I'm probably gonna regret admitting this, but I've thought about it. There and here.
I get it now. You want me to be a cliche.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Why the hell would you regret admitting that? That just makes you way more awesome at this whole long distance sex shit than I am. Did you jerk off thinking about it?
Nah. I just want you to be relaxed. It's not good for you to be wound up so tight about this.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
You haven't thought about it? Now I know I shouldn't have said anything. Maybe I just think too much. And yeah, I have.
I just don't want to embarrass myself.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Most of the time, I think about you doing things to me, like that or kissing me or touching me. You should always, always tell me things like that. It's how we do this whole long distance relationship shit. You don't think too much, Parrish. You think just enough.
Trust me, your roommate is an 18 maybe 19 year old guy too. He jerks off or screws other people plenty. You're not embarrassing yourself.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
I'm supposed to tell you all the things that people don't normally talk about. This is starting to sound like a porn.
I don't wanna embarrass myself with you either.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Our own private one.
Trust. You are totally not embarrassing yourself with me. In fact, I'm really fucking impressed. You're so much more dirty minded than I realized. It's awesome.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
Have you ever watched porn? Just, you know, curious.
I don't know if that's something I should be proud of.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Oh hell yeah. I even watched some straight porn once to see what all the fuss was about. I didn't see one so I went back to gay porn. You?
I'm proud of it.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
My dad used to watch it. And the guys at the garage always had magazines around. So, I've seen plenty. Straight, not gay. The gay thing is new. I'm still trying to figure it out.
You're a bad influence.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
You know I'm not like him just because of that, right? Yeah. I know. I think you're doing just fine.
You mean I'm an excellent influence.
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From: adam.parrish@gmail.com
I know. You're nothing like him. You're familia mea.
Yeah, maybe I mean that. Sure.
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From: greywaren@gmail.com
Fuck. Next month can't get here fast enough because this sucks in comparison to having you here.
Sure. Don't worry, Parrish. I won't corrupt you completely.
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The people that matter support us. Everyone else is a jealous idiot. They all want a piece of this ass and they're pissed you're the only one getting it.
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Text
Opal wanted to send you this.